As you know, I've been working on my school story for awhile now. Lately I hit a bit of a roadblock, and was poring through other stories/books and writing guides for some brainstorming on what I was missing.

I realized that the reason I ended up writing this school story ended up being both the motivator and the roadblock. The reason was for me to have practice writing something before trying to tackle some of the stories that really meant a lot to me (an idea I got from ha_chan!). So I ended up just throwing all my characters into a school setting and seeing which ones became friends/enemies, who fell in love, what kind of person they were, and who they would become. It was really really helpful for me to see my characters come alive as well as practice writing in the long-form. But as I got closer to the end of the first volume, and thinking about revising what I had written for publishing, it was obvious that it wasn't really a coherent story. With 10 main characters, you run a real risk of flipping back and forth too many times and not giving the audience enough time to care about anyone (Heroes syndrome, anyone?). There was also no overarching theme.. not that there NEEDS to be one, but you have to get drawn into a story before you can start pursuing random sidestories. KareKano is a good example of that - they focus mostly on the main characters and get the reader to a point where they're interested in everyone else's stories. I think there were some really strong storylines in my story so it's something that should be published eventually, but it wasn't something I wanted to present as my first work.

So after a lot of thinking, I've decided to put it on the backburner. It kills me because I've written SO much of it (97 single spaced pages in Word, 51,796 words) and it was really close to being done. It also feels like I'm "giving up" in a way, but I think this is definitely the right thing to do. And I know I'll definitely come back to it - it requires some major retooling, but that may be a lot easier once I'm detached from it a bit.

With that, I turned back to my long neglected vampire story. I've compiled like 14 pages of notes (and that's just an outline!) on the story from beginning to end. I've been compiling notes since high school, and every time I went back to read bits and pieces of my outline, I've been overcome with an incredible excitement and sense of wonder. I feel like I really have something to say with this story, and this is something that is coming at just the right time with how much I've learned about story layout practicing with the school story. The goal with this one is to get it written within 6 months to a year.. ideally, it should be a lot shorter since I have so much of it laid out, as opposed to the school story where I was just brainstorming as I went along.

Unfortunately, as we all know, media is just wayyyy oversaturated with vampire crap right now... so that's one part I do worry about. If nothing else, it means that the publishers will be more willing to publish it... but I sure as hell don't want to be compared to Twilight, or True Blood, or the Vampire Diaries, and 123892138012 other projects that I'm sure are in the works. But that's the industry, and I hope to join it soon!

(Sorry.. I'm sure it's lame that I keep making these writing posts and there's nothing to show for it. But novels take a long ass time to write! *cry*)

( Wig & costume sale! )

Also selling Little Big Planet (PS3) for $30 - pristine condition!

Thanks for looking!

the new trick I learned the other day.. lol yes I am in my pajamas about to go to bed!



someday I will make a real post again...

MARCH 7, 2010!!!

3/7/10!

And YES, this is my wedding planning icon!!! hahahaha <333

more details about the selected venue and all the hunting that was done for it later!

Note to self: bad idea to try to be the "palest" one in a group of white people.

Truth: I'm kind of totally in love with my Eva group!!!!! <333


Lionel's photo!

I can't wait for more photos *_*

Man. Back from Fanime and holy shit~ what a convention. XD I am practically bursting to see photos because I'm afraid of having man-face/stupid-face in all my photos. It turns out that it's really hard to emote wearing specialty contacts!! Maybe no one else has this problem, but every expression I made looked stupid so I couldn't really find a good one. Oh well - all the photographers I shot with were amazing so hopefully they'll work their magic as usual. XD!!

Notable events:
- Are you Chinese? I thought so; because you're bargaining with me (dealers hall booth)
- Hey, it sounds like you're having a really good time in there... can I have a cup?
- Mrs. Tomyoy
- Crashing the swankiest hotel suite ever, courtesy of Gary/Bran & co.
- Drinking on Gary's bed and being served drinks by Bran, future husband in training
- I keep bleeding, keep keep bleeding love. You cut me open.
- I keep fisting, keep keep fisting. You fist me open.
- Boo-kake
- All the superladies!!
- While wearing Etna & Flonne: Getting hugged for 10 hours, getting asked for photos with my heroes (Gangsta Toad and Pimp Mario), posing with chicken teriyaki bowls, Oscar trying to turn our shoot into a wet tshirt contest by making us walk through fountains =x
- Nice Hilton people who seemed/pretended to like Fanime
- (quiet) might be (LOUD) SMELLY
- Latest night photoshoot ever, and looking like a maniac posing against a dark window staring outside (Evangelion shoot with Vince!)
- POLE SHOOT WITH OSCAR (oh, he's good at shooting sluts!)
- Disgaea shoot with Jason & Jeff and seeing prints the day after!! (and photos later with Oscar and Al and Lionel)
- Gary tweets that he loves buttsex, and all the retweeting
- Rene bday cake surprise
- Vaginal bleeding
- Seeing Momoi from the 3rd row, courtesy of Jon! <3
- Lelouche / Kamui skipping
- Spiderman with matching blue butt pouch
- THE LINE STARTS BACK THERE (Gaia panel)
- Pataporn (PAPAYA~~~ *jumps*)
- Crying while laughing hysterically at depressing videos
- DSi babies (Kate and Caroline win)
- Shut up with your eyes!
- AMERICA!!!! (10 years later)
- Cosplaying with Mandi, Samantha, and Lada - hottest Eva girls ever (sans me lol)
- Cosplaying with iPLAY all in one group for the first time where it was just us four! <3 Disgaea group
- Pictochatting for the first time with complete strangers - and ended up meeting one of them lol
- Rene's belated birthday cake surprise (thanks to everyone for their help!!)
- Getting bombarded at Fanime swap meet
- Oops, did I turn you on? *Dawson crying face*

Coherent post later.

Red contacts = creepy AND AWESOME! (Wig's not styled yet... obviously!)

As I mentioned before, I'm very very aware that my cosplay days are numbered. My time has become really limited nowadays and cosplay is suddenly not worth the time and money compared to other pursuits, like getting published or pursuing aerial/pole/dance. This has led me to take a look at the costumes I always wanted to do but never got around to for some reason or another - the design wasn't special enough, or it was over-cosplayed to death, or I didn't "fit" the character at all, etc etc. Well, I'm definitely throwing all that to the wind now with the next few costumes I make!

One of those - which I am SUPER excited about - is Rei Ayanami from Evangelion! Evangelion was my favorite series back in high school... an angsty ass series about being hurt and isolated from other people while I was going through teenage angst? How perfect is that? And Rei was my all-time favorite character at the time. Despite the fact I don't think I'll make a good Rei (cause I have, like, skin pigment), I'm retardedly excited for this costume. And to cosplay with nuriko as Asuka and darth_teca as the most RIDICULOUSLY ACCURATE RITSUKO EVER? Heaven!

And let me just say... getting back into sewing after 2 years off? Super weird! Can't believe the last time I sewed (or cosplayed even!) was in 2007! Where has the time gone?

And as a random side note - does anyone realize how RETARDEDLY proportioned the Eva school uniforms are? T_T Seriously!

I'm upgrading finally to an iPod touch to play with all the applications, so I want to get rid of my iPod video.

I bought it refurbished in late 2006 and have NEVER had any problems with it. It's worked wonderfully and was used rather sparingly. It's always been at room temperature (not left in a hot car or anything), charged only when battery was low (so battery life is still good), and not really used for the gym or anything. No water or dropping damage. Perfect playback for video and audio.

The only problem is that it's scratched up on the front and back from the hard case it was stored in since it was purchased. I bought a case from Best Buy, but the iPod didn't fit flush in the case and jiggled around slightly. So despite me being careful with my iPod and never having used it without the case, it ended up scratched. The screen is still completely readable, but I just want to be an honest seller. :)

30 GB is:
~7,000 songs
~40 hours of video

Contrast this with an 32g ipod touch ($399), 120gb ipod classic ($249), or 16gb ipod nano ($199) - prices from http://store.apple.com/us

So for $100 you're getting a 30gb used ipod video. Not too bad! So if you just want a reliable music player for a good price for the capacity it's providing, this is a great deal.

Comes with crappy jiggly hard case, white ipod USB connector cord, and white standard earphones (if you want any of these).

I have photos if you're interested!

HAPPY BDAY BRAMOS

( cut to be nice )

Electric Cherry Blossom Festival was a blast!!

Despite everyone being super insanely busy, we all pulled it together for a fantastic 20-30 minute set on Saturday night. It felt really good to be in that type of "convention" environment again.. and having an opportunity to dance after taking all these classes and feeling more comfortable with movement felt great! Except that I totally forgot that I was on stage a few times, since I'm so used to goofing off and acting retarded at all times. *L* From the pictures and video, I'm pleased to see that I didn't look too retarded on stage~ yay!

Thanks to umigoddess, hikki, waynekaa, sakurae, and kixies for all your patience and hard work!! =) and slave_to_anime, chase_the_bunny, ha_chan, makkurakoyappi, djtrnx, and stephachu for the support!

( Photos stolen from Kimi, Stephanie, and Jason <3 )
This has been a completely truthful and accurate concert report.

Now that all the time spent on rehearsals is freed up, I'm redirecting my energies towards getting ready for Fanime! ECBF gave me a nice little mini-con high, so I'm hoping that will be enough motivation to get back into sewing. Free time has been so scarce lately and we're down to like 6-7 weeks now until Fanime. I want to make this one count since I haven't cosplayed since... well... I don't know, I think 2007? =)

Unfortunately, things have gotten so busy lately to the point where life is less me-happily-being-productive and more of a chore, but I just have to find my balance point again and re-center myself.

dance day today at my dance studio.. $20 for all you can take dances from 10am-9pm!

Ended up taking hoop, tissu, contemporary, breakdance, halfassed bellydance, cardio striptease, and a master's hiphop class taught by Napoleon and Tabitha from So You Think You Can Dance. 7 hours! O_O

So tired. So amazed and inspired.

New motto- I don't have a single day or week to waste.

As much as I love my classes once I'm there, sometimes I wage really crazy debates on whether to be lazy and skip class or not. I have this tendency to prefer being situated wherever I am, so sometimes it's really hard to convince myself to go. Generally this past year convincing myself to go to class hasn't been as difficult as it has in the past, but I'd love to get rid of all this self-bargaining as much as I can.

I go to these classes and am constantly inspired to grow in strength, flexibility, and movement. I am so inspired by everyone around me, and inspired by movement and dance and presentation and skills. I missed being a "master" at something for so long. But the good thing is? It's not too late. I may have discovered all this stuff "late in life", but by no means is it too late. (I know I'm not old but when you see much younger people rocking it out much harder than you, it certainly reawakens that inadequacy) To gain mastery, thousands of hours are required, so if I just start pursuing something now, I can have some sort of mastery in a few years.

In other words, time to let go of all that "why haven't I mastered anything by now" and replace it with "i am in the pursuit of mastery, and I am ____ years along in my goal". Because even though I hit depressing setbacks sometimes, like not being strong enough at aerial at first, every day I grow and improve, even if I suck that day.

my first brush with aerial was one year ago today, when I sampled four classes during dance day 2008. I didn't start aerial until a few months later when I went on hiatus for pole. I've come such a long way. :)

I can't believe it's been four years since I posted this!

i'm opening this post for you to tell me anything you have always wanted to say to me. anonymous comments are allowed. Tell me anything good, anything bad. Tell me a secret, tell me something you've thought about me, tell me something you've heard about me.

While I agree that sometimes it's not good to care too much about what other people think about you, the truth is this: people only think certain things about you because you've done things to give them that impression. In the end, yes, there will be crazy people whose logic you just will not understand and cannot fix, but I'm hoping the vast majority of people that know me aren't like that. Here's the thing: I've probably done things to offend you that I didn't mean. One of the worst feelings in my life came from the time that a good friend of mine misconstrued everything that I said and turned it against me. She's out of my life now, but I never had the chance to explain myself because she never came to me about it.

Some people would rather not know, but that's not me. I want to know so I can fix it.

I'm posting this not just for compliment mongering (if you care to misunderstand me that way), but more like- if there's something you just want to tell me, or if you have a beef with me over something I did, tell me here. You can always come to me about it - I want to know and learn how to not make people feel badly over things I said or did - but I know that's hard so let's use the good ol' internet as a buffer.

The last time I posted it, I got a lot of very surprising responses- things that I still think about to this day. There were things that made me laugh, or gasp in surprise, and quite a few comments contained insights into me that I hadn't really even realized about myself yet.

Post anonymously as you wish. Good or bad, go for it. I genuinely want to know.

I couldn't think of a better way to celebrate the end of the wonderful year. Five days in Nor Cal with Kamil's family, college friends, and convention friends; loads of time with my brother and mom; three very laid-back days at work; and then celebrating the turn of the year with wonderful, life-long best friends.

2009 won't be a fantastic year by blind chance. It'll be a fantastic year because we make it a fantastic year with our own hands.

Happy new year, everyone!




( rambling yoinked from evie's journal so I can remember it too! )

First of all, I do NOT understand why people actually enjoy having *seasons*!! Give me warm 80 degree weather year round, please. XD (Clearly I am a tropical beast.) I don't think it would be nearly as bad if I didn't have like a 10 minute walk outdoors from the parking garage to work in the morning and back again in the evening. XD; But seriously California, 48 degrees?!

Secondly, HEROES IS THE SHITTIEST PIECE OF SHIT THAT EVER SHITTED UP TELEVISION. (Well, I'm sure there's worse, but REALLY, come on now!)

Anyway, I started composing my "year in review" post, so I was looking through my entries from this year and can I just say: damn, I posted so little substance this year! I referred to things I was doing, but never went into much detail about anything. Most of it was due to just becoming busier, but also a lack of wanting to elucidate so deeply on things in journal form as I used to. Why? I guess talking to people directly became the method of choice. Not a bad thing, but I'd also like to have more substance in my posts as well. I also had this feeling that explaining in gross detail how deeply I think about things such as work or aerial arts or writing would be extremely boring to read. I know that it's probably interesting to some people, and it's something I'd like to detail out in writing anyway.. so maybe I just have to force myself to get over it.

Here is where I started to write a ton of stuff, but instead of posting it all in one 500 page post, I'll split it up. So.. next post (hah)~

My brother's home and this past weekend was subsequently decimated by too many hours of Lego Batman. The game is SOOOOOOOOOOO fun! <333 It actually beats my expectations! So many little details that just made me and my brother erupt into laughter. For a franchise that could so easily be just fluff, they put a lot of attention and love and good design decisions into this game.

And LOL @ my brother's girlfriend telling him that now that I'm getting married, I wouldn't have time for games. Psh!!! She knows nothing about my brother and me. :D

The end of the year is fast approaching! I can't believe the holiday season is on us yet again. I'm hosting Thanksgiving dinner for the first time and embarking on first turkey. I have implicit trust in Alton Brown, so I'm not scared! XD

I have a confession to make: I love these stupid tracker things and have been waiting patiently for a good reason to use it. Finally I have one: my writing deadline! Which I am sure you all are totally not sick of hearing about yet.. :D :D :D




I suppose I could have gone for a tracker image that made more sense, like the pencil one (since it's writing, afterall) but I mean... this one is so much better. XD

Anyways, two writing lessons I've learned from the last month. They're both things I was very aware of originally, but decided to try doing anyway so that I could properly learn my lesson:

1) Writing on a deadline- I've traditionally always avoided setting writing deadlines, since I am very aware of how you just can't hurry good ideas or inspiration along. It seemed like the original goal of having bi-monthly deadlines was a good one, as it allowed enough time to properly brainstorm, write, and edit a chapter. Unfortunately, as you know, I ended up getting lazy so I issued myself the challenge of catching up for all the missed deadlines I had this year. The unfortunate part of this is that it's a bit too aggressive unless I write with every free moment I have, thanks to a crazy schedule I have right now with a full-time job, two nights of aerial arts classes, a soon to be additional night of mandatory work training, and parents demanding my time on the weekends. I got myself to write constantly for a while, rushing to my computer every free moment I got, but as I got stuck on a few chapters and burnt out a little, the reality is that to create and have continued motivation, you have to take in as much as you produce. If I'm not taking the time to watch movies or read books or talk to people or be in situations that inspire me, it'll be hard to keep endlessly producing my own stuff. (To say nothing of just getting plain old braindead, that's for sure!)

So what's the solution here? I'm hesitant to give up my goal quite yet, so I'll have to find my way through it through good scheduling and dedication.

2) Writing out of chronological order- I'm very fortunate that as I write, I'm able to naturally foreshadow coming plot points or refer to past events, whether or not they actually have been written or developed yet! Unfortunately that means I really need to start with the beginning in order to keep everything in a cohesive timeline. I tend to want to jump ahead and write the "cool" parts, but everything needs its proper setup and I feel like the story will be so much richer having a lot of past events to build on.

Again, two very "obvious" lessons that were well-noted prior to now, but sometimes you know the right answer but can't quite accept it until you are forced to learn it a different way.

I'm sure this is all very interesting to no one, but for once I have a very solid goal that I'm working towards and want to share with you! I wish I could share something more than all this general stuff though, but I think anything else would just be a plot ruiner. XD;

You all know how much I love being vague, but in light of things I feel that I should do a proper announcement.

On the sixth anniversary of Kamil and I's relationship, we are no longer dating.



.....we're engaged!!!!!


( the gory details )

I took a three day vacation for it, so today's my first day back at work this week and I have a ton to do! So I'll post more about it later. :) Just thought I should let you all know!

<3

To the ladies of Team Firecrotch-

So like, can you guys work on slutting it up ASAP? Because otherwise, I just lost the bet.

thx

Heyo~

I have 2 extra tickets for the live So You Think You Can Dance tour tomorrow-

So You Think You Can Dance Live Tour 2008
NOKIA Theatre LA LIVE, Los Angeles, CA
Wed, Oct 1, 2008 07:30 PM

Seating Chart: http://www.nokiatheatrelalive.com/content.php?section=events&page=seating_chart
Seat location: section ORCH, row S, seats 109-110
Total Charge: US $ 142.35

Anyone interested? Just trying to get back what I paid for them. I have the tickets in hand and can pick up tonight, tomorrow from Century City, or I can meet you at the venue!

Gonna throw these up on Craigslist too so let me know if you're interested!

Found a coworker who wanted them. *lucky!* Thanks! :)

Anyone still watching Heroes?

Alright, so I don't usually feel strongly enough about something to post about it, but watching this show with my boyfriend who just *accepts* what he's shown and then attempting to debate with him about why it was crappy about it afterwards just sets me off. *L*

So...
( Season 3 premiere, kind of spoilery )

I suppose the most upsetting thing about all this is the incredible potential the writers are losing out on.

All just confirmation that really, I want to be writing too.